Sunday, March 20, 2011

Pain

At 12:30 p.m. on Wednesday we got the news: our fourth attempt at in vitro fertilization had failed.

I am writing this from my 'cave' -- that being a surrounding of a large latte, my laptop, my knitting and my DVR remote. In other words, the things I use as my escape.

My pain is only just surfacing, and it is fierce. No, I do not need offers of a surrogate. My body can carry a baby perfectly well, it's just that the embryo/blastocyst needs to hold on and grow when it gets in there.

I do not want to talk about adoption. I've said this before, but the decision to have a baby/adopt a baby are extremely personal. Don't ever assume that someone wants to do that just because they don't have a baby.

Ranting aside, I am thankful for the prayers that have been offered on our behalf. I am highly aware that others have suffered and are suffering far beyond my comprehension. I work to keep that in mind as I wade through my own terrible grief.

Thanks for listening.

4 comments:

sam miller said...

Casey and Tracey,
My heart is aching for you. I love you guys. Still praying!

Lori said...

My heart hurts so badly for you & Casey! Harold & I are praying for you all as you go through this dark valley. Much love, my friend!

Jacqueline Hudson said...

My thoughts are with you Tracey, and Casey too. Praying for ya'll.

Jolene said...

Oh Tracey! :( I'm praying for you right at this moment. ((((hugs))))

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