The Night Before

Tomorrow my little Mags and MoMo will start kindergarten. I’ve had emotions swirling over this for months and months — maybe for the past year. It came too soon. I fought so hard for four years and five in vitro cycles to get those babies into our family. I carried them for 37 weeks, tandem nursed them for three-plus years, stayed home with them for nearly six years...and now they will be spending half their daytime hours in school.

Their teacher (also Miles’ kindergarten teacher), is just wonderful. What a blessing to have her in our lives! And still, my heart breaks and will need to do some more grieving. No more babies at home...just me. So tonight we sang our usual songs, and I gave them extra kisses and whispered in their ears how much I adore them. Then I went to my own bed and wept. 

Not long after, I realized I hadn’t sung “You Are My Sunshine” to them — one of the first songs I introduced to each of my babies. So I went back to their room and asked them to sit with me so I could sing it to them. They both sat on my lap and to my delight, both joined in on the singing, and I held my twin babies tight as I sang and let the tears fall.

It is heartache and heartbreak, being a mother. It is up and down and all around. It is joy, pain, beauty and wonder. It is a magical miracle that overwhelms me every single day.

Best Homework Ever

Last night Miles had his first homework assignment, which involved working on the letter E, matching rhyming words, writing his name and the number 3. Casey and I sat and watched as he held his pencil and that little face showed such concentration. It was all too adorable for me, and I couldn't help but kiss his cheek as he worked. Each time he'd finish one task on the paper, he would turn my way and look for the praise and encouragement he needs when learning something new. At one point though, Miles stopped his work to smile at me. He tapped his chin in thought and said, "Mom, I think you're going to be so proud." At this I burst out laughing, then hugged and kissed him and told him he was right -- I would be so proud of him forever and ever.

What? No soda?!?

Anyone out there as clumsy as I am? Because I am pretty clumsy. I can't seem to let a day go by without injuring myself in some form or fashion. Granted, it's not ever a big injury, but there are those days. Take Saturday, for instance. I was leaving the house, and we have this big porch with about twelve wooden steps leading up to it. They were still pretty watery from the previous day's rain. I simply walked down a couple of them and next thing I knew I was sliding down the stairs! My shoe had slipped out from under me, and a couple of things in my hand went over the railing. My hands, out of natural reaction, tried to catch my fall. I had an instant fear that I'd broken a wrist, but the pain was not so bad. Just some soreness and some muddy jeans. Whew! Maybe that story doesn't illustrate my clumsiness very well, because anyone's shoe could slip on a wet step, right? Still...I do have my moments. And just today I found a bruise near my knee, and I have no idea where it came from! Ah, the life of a klutz.

Meanwhile, life is so super-busy. School has started up again -- not for me, of course, but I do work on a college campus, so there are just endless streams of students. Really makes the time pass quickly. I do enjoy living in a college town, but of course there are ups and downs anywhere you go.

My husband Casey and I have agreed not to drink any soda for the next two weeks, as of this past Saturday (we actually shook hands in the grocery aisle). The main reason is just to try and get on a somewhat healthier plan. We're certainly not changing everything about the way we eat, but it's a start. We're eating more fruit (I had an apple today!) and I've been drinking decaf coffee for the past several days. Okay, I know coffee is not healthy at all, but you try going straight from regular coffee to nothing! These things take a little time...