Wednesday, March 03, 2010

"What Do I Have to Say?"

If you've ever wanted to learn more about life and God's love, having a child is certainly one of the best ways to do so. I know that in this life I won't fully understand the way God works, but I do get glimpses of his relationship with me through my relationship with Miles.

I've had my desperate moments with God, most definitely. I've cried out to him, and I can remember at least two times when I was asking him for something (okay, a baby) that I regressed into childish questions like, "Is there something I need to do? Is there something I need to say? Just tell me and I'll do it!" You might have had these moments as well. They're very private, but I'm sharing mine because of a moment I had with my son recently.

Miles has learned, in the past few months, just how much he loves gum. He gets this from me, I know, because I have always been a big gum-chewer and Casey couldn't care less about gum. I got smart about it at some point in my life and realized that, if I was going to chew this much gum, it had better be of the sugar-free variety. And so, when I give Miles gum, it is sugar-free. Not going to start him off on the really good stuff like Super Bubble (yum). I'll let him think that Trident is the best there is for now.

Casey and I have tried to teach Miles to say 'please' and 'thank you' and he's doing a pretty good job. Of course he forgets sometimes and will say, "I want lunch!" and I'll tell him, "I don't know how to get it for you until you ask me nicely." He will immediately respond with, "Please can I have lunch?"

He does the same thing with gum, and most of the time I let him have the gum. Sometimes, though, he's had too much or it's almost mealtime or...he just plain doesn't need to have gum at that moment. So last week when Miles began by asking sweetly, "Please can I have gum?" he was surprised to hear me tell him no. There was whining and that pitiful stomping around, which I ignored. Then came his sad little question: "What do I have to say?"

Immediately I recognized myself in my little boy. Here he was, asking the way he'd been taught to ask for things, not understanding why the answer was coming back as no. But as his mother, I know what's best for my child, even down to little things like a piece of gum. And I know he doesn't understand my answer, although he will later on.

So why is it so hard for me, as a child of God, to accept his answer of 'no' or 'wait'? I feel like I'm doing the right things, being thankful, striving to be the Christian woman I should be...and yet there are times when he still won't give me good things that I ask him for. I know I'll understand later on, and that he indeed does know what's best for me, and I love that he gives me daily examples of his love in a blonde-headed three-year-old boy.


Luke Family said...

WOW! I love this post. What a great way to think of your relationship with God. I love how you compared the two.

jmberrygirl said...

Thanks. That was so sweet! Maybe God's just waiting for the right time to give you a big pack of Bubblicious.

tracey said...

Joy ~ Thanks! I love it, but it scares me at the same time. :)

Jennifer ~ Haha, that was great! Yes, hopefully he is using his perfect timing.

Kelly said...

Haha, I've had similar experiences, which is the main reason why my husband and I have resolved to explain every "no" we have to give. Even if it seems to us like it would be over their heads, we still try. It's amazing how much they understand. It opens up opportunities for me to listen to the Spirit whispering, and understand more of why the Lord has advised me to "wait", or "not yet", etc. I think we're being blessed for raising more of His beautiful children!

tracey said...

We make sure to try and explain too, although I have been in the middle of that and thinking, "Is he really listening?" My answer comes later when he can repeat things I've said. Gulp...he is always listening. I both love that and am terrified by it. Thanks for sharing, I love the look of your blog, by the way!

蔡依林Jolin said...
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