Tuesday, September 08, 2009


Since my last post a few days ago, I realized something: as much as I feel I shouldn't share too much about our IVF process, all the little details, it is very unlike me to not share. If there weren't so many emotions and possibly huge disappointments wrapped up in IVF, I would be giving up-to-the-minute newsflashes every day -- no, every hour.

If you take from that, as you should, that I am a sharer (maybe an over-sharer in some cases), then you should be somewhat impressed with how well I'm doing in holding back. This should also give you a small glimpse into how high the emotions can get with infertility issues. I have to say that I am loving reading blogs by women who suffer from infertility and are going through or have gone through IVF themselves. We don't all have the same exact issues, but I can tell you from reading their posts that they know how I feel. That is huge.

I really do have something to say, I promise.

Because I do want to share this experience with you but don't want it to be a 'real-time' sort of thing, I have come up with a compromise (which, if you watch The Office, is actually a win-lose situation!). I am going to keep a draft post updated with every new IVF visit, what I'm going through, how I'm feeling, and then hopefully some good news at the end. The entire post will cover the entire process, but I won't post it until much later, when I feel the time is right. Isn't that a great compromise? (This is the part where you nod your head.)

I have to hand it to those women who have enormous courage in sharing the details the day they happen. I might be that way in some circumstances, but I suppose after all is said and done I am feeling more protective over this than I thought I would. It's my heart...it has felt so heavy over so much recently concerning this one issue, and because of that I have to be cautious.

But the compromise -- this makes me happy! It will be so cathartic to write about what's going on, knowing that I'll actually be able to share it with you later.


andrea said...

Dearest Tracey~I want you to know that I think and pray for you often. Obviously we are in two different situations right now and I have been hesitant to say anything before as I didn't want it to be insensitive in any way. Though I can't even pretend to understand what you are going through, my heart is breaking for you and Casey as you are having to face all this.

My prayer is that you will have 1,000 times more highs than lows, that God will hold you close should you have to have anymore lows, that He will protect your health through it all, and of course that it will work the first time and you'll get pregnant with TWINS!! hehe

Love ya sweet lady!!

tracey said...

Andrea ~ Thank you, first and foremost, for the prayers. No matter how often I hear it, that is something that amazes me -- how so many people tell me that they are praying for us. It means the world. Secondly, I truly appreciate your being sensitive...I won't lie and tell you it's easy to hear about anyone (and especially a friend) being pregnant. It doesn't mean there's no joy for them in my heart, but there are other feelings in there as well, as much as I don't want them. I strive to set aside those other feelings as best I can, because I want so much to be completely happy for my friends...but hopefully you understand that it is hard at times.

I loved everything you said at the end there, and I smiled at the TWINS! part too. Don't think I haven't thought about it! ; )

Love you too...hugs to you and yours, miss you lots!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...