Twenty-Three Months

Dear Miles,

Well...this is it. One more month, and you will be my wonderful little two-year-old. How did we come so far already? Two years ago this day I was blissfully unaware as to how soon you would be arriving, and in such scary circumstances. It is still hard to believe that you came through all of that perfectly healthy. One year ago this day, because of my ongoing health issues, I was still physically struggling to take care of you on my own for an entire day straight. It was frustrating, because I so badly wanted to be what I thought a 'normal mom' should be, but I just couldn't. My recovery has taken so much longer than I thought it would, but these days I think you would agree with me when I say that I am officially a 'normal mom.'

I honestly sometimes can't get over what a beautiful creation you are. When your Daddy isn't nearby, strangers will say how much you look like me. Usually I will answer, "Well, you should see his dad before you say that!" but lately I don't say anything but a thank you because I consider it such a high compliment. I know you're a boy and boys are handsome, but sometimes all I see is a beautiful boy. Who can get past those eyelashes, that smile, those big hazel eyes, and that gorgeous strawberry blond hair? It's almost more than I can take.

Your twenty-third month has been such a verbal month for you. Every day I am amazed at all the words you are adding to your vernacular, and it is a little scary -- and funny at times -- when you repeat the ends of our sentences or questions in your adorable little voice. Like yesterday when I said, "It's going to be okay," and you answered, "Okay?" And I am so happy that you can now tell me, "Hurts!" and point to the place you are feeling pain. The repetitiveness in your speech is wonderful, and it is part of your learning process, but it will be equally wonderful when you come to me someday with your own thoughts and ideas, put into your very own words. Some of your words come out so clear already, but you have kept the babbling so far. I have to say I will dearly miss the baby babble. I will miss the baby. This is partly why Mama has the baby-fever again...

I have been talking about springtime quite a bit lately, and how much I love this time of year. I think another reason it's meaning more to me is that this time last year you weren't even walking yet. We would go outside quite a bit, but it was mostly to take walks with you in the stroller. By the time you were walking, it was so hot outside, and although we enjoy our outdoor time immensely...it never lasted long enough. But now -- now we are in that stage of changing seasons, and not only am I soaking it all in, I am experiencing it through you as well as you laugh and scream with delight at the wind rushing in your face. I am learning to appreciate the tiniest little things when you find a perfect, tiny white flower amid the dead grass and look at me as though you have found the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

Not totally sure what we'll do for your second birthday, but I know it won't be a huge thing. The first birthday I even remember is my fifth -- so, I'm sorry kid, but we're just going low-key for the first few years. At least we've got you in training to blow out those candles!

You have hit an even bigger independent stride this past month, and those dreaded terrible two's rear their ugly head every so often. But it seems that with every new challenge your Daddy and I meet in being your parents, there is an even bigger reward, whether it be a new expression on your face or a new word...or those heart-melting run-into-our-arms hugs. Yes, you are what I would call my biggest life challenge, but before that I would say you have stolen a very large piece of my heart and covered it with your sweet kisses.

All my love,

Mama