Goings-on

Last Friday evening, Casey and I sold my little Mazda, the car I owned for more than ten years. I always knew it would be a sentimental thing for me, so thankfully I haven't really driven it much in the past year-and-a-half. Nevertheless, I took pictures of "The Egg" before it was driven away, and even thought I felt tears welling up. I certainly did feel a sad little place in my heart. The crazy thing is, we were driving by a public gym the very next day, and there it was! I was happy to see that my little car was okay. But then things got a little strange, because the following day, we were leaving church, and there it was...parked across the street...staring at us. I'm not joking! It was like the thing was watching us.

I thought I would wait long enough to make sure it was really true before I share this, but here it is, folks: the belly has made its appearance. I'm sure it's different for every single person, but for me it was a subtle thing until one day last week. Then it was like, "Okay...here I am!" I'm not saying that I walk around looking obviously pregnant, but things do not fit like before, and I had enough of a belly for women at church to notice. I know all of this will feel more and more real each day, but even now it's still difficult to comprehend that an actual human being is growing inside my body. Just to type that out sounds...I don't know, unbelievable! But next week, Lord willing, we'll see our baby on the ultrasound monitor. We saw him or her when I was seven weeks pregnant, got to see and hear the heart beating, but when it's that tiny there's not really movement or a way to really discern what is what. This time, though, there will be a spine and legs and arms and hands and feet...and movement! I'm not sure I've recognized any movement yet -- that is probably still several weeks away -- so just getting to see arms and legs waving all around will fascinate me, I'm sure. Casey and I are both excited about it...and mostly because we do want to try and see if we're having a boy or girl. It's so hard to believe that we could know so soon!

I've mentioned before that my decorating skills are not quite up to par. I know plenty of people who just love to decorate, and will help their friends decorate...but I'm just not one of them. I think either you have it or you don't. For those of us who don't, there is an abundance of ideas floating around on the internet. But when Casey and I decided to buy our first house this year, it was Casey who wanted at least one of the guest bedrooms (soon we'll just have one because the other is designated for the nursery) to be a very peaceful, calming room. He went on an elders/ministers retreat last year and stayed in a room that I suppose inspired him. I was able to see the room, and stay in it myself, on a ladies' retreat earlier this year. He was right...it was just so relaxing and calming in there, and why wouldn't we want our guests to feel this way when they visit? So, I've focused on a blue and white color theme, mostly because those colors plus greens and naturals are all suggested for a tranquil sort of theme. They are actually supposed to decrease blood pressure, how about that? And I'm trying to think back to my days of watching Trading Spaces -- you know, to the episodes where they would have one item and decorate the entire room around that. It's actually a good idea, and I can get into it, but I'm afraid of getting part of the way through and just throwing my hands in the air and giving up. I'm going to give it a whirl, though, and just try to have fun. The key is simple, blue and white, and peaceful. Oh, and fun.

Another plug for Holy Experience

I really can't get enough of Ann V.'s blog, Holy Experience. I am several posts behind at the moment, but today I read this post and it almost made me cry and long to hold my own baby and smell that baby smell. I admit that I lately seem to have more thoughts of fear and anxiety about all the changes that are going to take place in our lives next year, but the moments of longing and excitement fill my heart enough to push the fears right out!

Friday's Feast

Click on the post title or the link in the sidebar to have a feast of your very own!

Feast Seventy-Two / Friday, December 02, 2005

Appetizer

When was the last time you did something you would consider courteous, what was it, and who was it for?

Umm...I made pumpkin breads for our elders at church and the other three staff as well. But I get something out of it as well, really, because I make some for us. So, it's not a totally selfless thing. I love pumpkin bread!

Salad

If you were to have a painting done of you alone, what would you want the background to be?

Something in blue, not really a scene. Well, okay, a big tree would be nice, or a prairie-type setting. Obviously I 'm not very good at this kind of thing.

Soup

Describe your voice.

Not high-pitched, but not really low. I kind of get annoyed by it myself, at times. I'll hear these very soft voices and wish mine was like that, but it is what it is. I don't have a super-harsh voice, but it's not that soothing kind of voice that I like to hear.

Main Course

What is something you would like to do, but you're afraid of the risk(s)?

Skydiving...my brother has been doing it for years. He went on a tandem jump and was hooked. Now he's part of a free-fly team.

Dessert

What was the last television show you watched?

The Apprentice last night. It's such a kick to listen to his reasoning for some things, and he didn't do it last night, but lately he's been banging on the table before he points and says, "You're fired!" Casey and I always get a good laugh at that. Lori talked on her blog about her son Evan liking this too, and saying "Yes!" after every firing. I love it!

Rebuttal

Well, me being me, I had to say just a couple more things to Mr. or Ms. Anonymous (from a comment deleted after my previous post today), seeing as he or she wanted some clarification:

First, you and I are obviously looking at this from completely different perspectives, mine being that of a Christian. There's going to be an inevitable clash there, especially when a subject like this comes up.

Second, if it seems as though I am opposed to the viewing of pornography and not just the addiction to it, it's because I am. By the way, how do you think the addiction comes about anyway?

Thirdly, and most honestly, it's really not me who denounces pornography, it's the Word of God -- and that needs no support:

'Everything is permissible for me' — but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible for me' — but I will not be mastered by anything. Food for the stomach and the stomach for food — but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. ~ I Corinthians 6:12-13

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. ~ I Corinthians 6:18-20

Now, none of this is going to mean much to you if you don't view pornography to be any kind of immorality. To that I have to say...you are only kidding yourself. Of course just about anything can become an addiction, but the subject I chose today was pornography, not alcohol or anything else. And no, I never made a statement claiming that pornography causes STD's. I believe I was talking about how sexual our society has become, how casual and accepted pornography has become, and thus sex itself is also very casual -- to a point where STD's are rampant. These things are all a part of the world of sexual immorality. Kirk Franklin himself tied his addiction to pornography to his promiscuity before marriage. He did not separate them. He also linked 'just looking' at pornography to adultery. Don't tell me that doesn't hurt a marriage.

I don't think I'm 'warning' anyone against pornography, Mr./Ms. Anonymous. I think I'm saying that there should be more talk about the struggles that are involved with it. And I'm afraid you are sorely wrong on the point where you stated that the source of the addiction does not come between people in a relationship. I can guarantee you that there are many people out there whose marriages would be and are tried because a spouse 'just looked' at pornography.

And the relationship it comes between more than any other is ours with God.

Sensitive (but important) subject

I don't know how many of you saw Oprah yesterday, but it dealt with something that I wish would be discussed more. Of course, I think it should be discussed more openly amongst Christians (especially young adults), not just on Oprah, but she's good at getting the word out, so I guess that's fine. The topic was pornography and its addictions, and mostly focused on Kirk Franklin, a very high-profile gospel singer (remember the song "Stomp"?), and one other 'regular' guy named Josh.

I could go on and on about what I wish they would have or would not have said, but there were still some good points made. For instance, Oprah asked Kirk Franklin, "But aren't you just looking at nude bodies?" to which he replied, "No, it's sex." (Read more about this particular show here.) I think we need more people like this man to step out of the shadows and talk about how pornography is ruining marriages. I don't have a bunch of data and statistics to back that statement up, but it's what I believe. One of the statistics that Oprah shared was that 45% of those who took a poll came from Christian homes, and said that pornography was a major problem in their home. We are talking about a multi-billion dollar industry, and that is in the United States alone.

What bothers me so much is how casual people are about pornography. You hear about it more and more and more as it soaks every bit of our society, until nobody is even blinking an eye when Victoria's Secret airs a special on TV and calls it a "fashion show"...do you think that's what young men are tuning in for -- the fashion? Please. Now, I'm not saying Victoria's Secret = pornography. I'm just trying to illustrate how sexual our society has become, and how easy it is to slip from one thing to another, and then one day everyone is wondering why marriages are falling apart and how STD's became so rampant.

Pornography is not the source of every kind of bad thing that's going on -- Satan is. But the world isn't going to acknowledge that. Taking away the pornography doesn't take away Satan, but allowing God into your heart will protect you from him. To paraphrase a wise man, "Sin has its greatest power when it's in secret." How did Kirk Franklin overcome his addiction? The first thing he did was bring it out of the dark and tell his wife. I'm sure that was a very difficult thing to do, and I wish all of us would bring these kinds of things out in the open more often. It's an ugly, ugly world...we've got to shed some light somewhere!