Thursday, September 17, 2009

Big Box. No, Really...BIG BOX.

If you've read any other blog about IVF, there are always the inevitable pictures of THE BOX OF MEDS. Did you think I would be any different? Okay, maybe I did scoff a little at the beginning, thinking, "Why in the world are these women posting pictures of their injectable meds?" But the more I learned about the process and realized that a lot of people really don't know what goes into it, I was ready to join in. I knew that when the day came that my box was delivered, I would be pulling out the camera. I really hadn't intended to post these pictures until later (with THE BIG POST), but I couldn't help myself. You just have to see this stuff. Have to.

While taking pictures of the box, I noticed that Junebug was becoming terribly interested in what I was doing. Either that or she just wanted to be inside. If there was a thought bubble above her head in this photo, I think it would say, "What is in that box and can I have it now, please?"

I had set everything up in a nice pretty way and taken some photos, then Casey and I did as the instructions said and made sure everything on the list was actually in the box. The Follistim, which is probably the most important thing in the box, was nowhere to be found. But then we realized that the HUGE silver bag still sitting in the box -- which I thought was just a cold bag to keep some of the 'refrigerate upon arrival' meds cold -- contained ice packs and the Follistim. Some days the blonde shines through a little more than others.

I examined everything carefully. Some of the contents were very clear to me, some were of the that-which-I-will-Google-later variety, and some were just plain scary. Yes, the needles. You'll see that the length on most of them is 1-1/2 inches. And if you don't think that's scary, I guess you would have to see it in person. Except for me they're in several bags, and in great numbers they just look like evil.

I took another picture of the needles on the windowsill, hoping to make them look more shiny and happy. It only worked for a little while. They still have to be stuck into my skin, after all.

So there you have it: my official post about THE BOX OF MEDS. I was anxious about them arriving. I thought seeing them would raise the anxiety level a bit, but it had the opposite effect! I feel so ready for this and I'm actually excited to get started. Now, don't confuse my excitement for happiness. Yes, there are good feelings about the possibilities at the end of all of this. I promise I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but when you are in the middle of this situation having just written a very large check for something you may never see results from and you are looking at several weeks of anxiety, incredibly crazy hormones, and more than one procedure wherein you have less than a 50% chance of coming away pregnant...well, there is just not a lot of jumping-up-and-down excitement going on.

I'm saving all that up for later.


Robin said...

Wow! I have not been to your blog in quite some time, and it looks FABULOUS! I love the new makeover!

Now, about those meds!!!!!! I never knew about and hadn't even HEARD of the "Big Box" until now, and I can see even more now why IVF is a huge deal. Even huger than huge, and for many reasons. I cannot imagine giving myself all those injections, and I'm really OK with needles...even BIG ones. I wish you all the best and a very tough skin through all of this. I can hardly wait to get to THE BIG POST...and by that I mean the one with lots of jumping up and down. I'll be thinking of you and praying in the meantime.

tracey said...

Robin ~ Thanks! Yeah, there's some apprehension going into it, but I will do what it takes at this point!! Thanks for the prayers too.

Anonymous said...

That's crazy -- yeah that's a ton of stuff. You know I'm praying for you many times daily. I love you my sister! Kerry

Lori said...

Oh, sweetie! What a huge box of hope for the future you unpacked! (Why is the song "Ease on down, ease on down the road" from The Wiz in my head right now?)

The silver bag thing made me laugh! When Evan was on IV meds for his staph infection we had a similar situation. There was so much other stuff in the box we almost missed the very expensive antibiotics. You'd think they'd pack it in a neon yellow bag or something.

Love the redesign, by the way! It feels very welcoming.

Have a great weekend!

tracey said...

Kerry ~ Thanks, sis. Love you and miss you, thanks for the prayers!

Lori ~ ' of hope for the future' -- I love that! And I don't know why that song is stuck in your head, but now it's stuck in mine, thank you very much! :) I'm so glad somebody else missed the silver bag stuff at first like I did. And thanks for the compliments on the blog redo. I like it too! :)

jmberrygirl said...

Hey! I visited the Oxford church when we were in town for my husband's family reunion a few weeks ago. Lendy mentioned your blog and I just had to check it out. I'm praying that you are blessed in this endeavor and that you'll keep your positive attitude and focus.

tracey said...

Thanks for visiting! I'll have to check your blog out as well. Thanks for the prayers...very appreciated.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Elisa said...

To Anonymous: If you are "so concerned" for Tracey's health as your post "implies", please do not be a coward. Identify yourself. God's plan may very well be IVF.

To Tracey: ::xoxo:: Praying for you.

tracey said...

Anonymous ~ I posted my response in a new blog post.

E ~ Thanks so much, you're awesome! This helped me so much last night when I read it. :)

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