A good book and lots of letters

Realistically, I am not an everyday blogger. I would hope that I could at least be a several-days-a-week blogger. But as of now, I haven't even posted in more than two weeks! Shame, shame on me. But I've had lots and lots on my mind, some of which I would love to post about (but forget) and some I'm keeping to myself (or also forgetting).

If anyone out there has heard of the Christian author Stormie Omartian or has read any of her books -- okay, even if you haven't -- I am thrilled to be currently reading Just Enough Light For the Step I'm On. This was recommended to me by a friend after we had Facebooked back and forth several times about my struggles with wanting a baby and not getting pregnant when I'd like (as in NOW). This friend of mine had read it at a difficult time in her own life. Well, I think I went and bought it the next day, about five minutes before the store closed. I feel blessed with each chapter I read, and I think she (Omartian) gives us things, as Christians, that we already know in our hearts, but she puts them in a very unique way.

Speaking of unique, another friend of mine told me she didn't mind my sharing something on the blog. Last night, our Bible study was split into a guys' group and a girls' group. The girl -- I should say woman, she and I are almost the same age -- who spoke to us had a lot of good, encouraging things to say to single college women. She, after all, is a single 30-year-old Ph.D. candidate, and so I would say she knows where they are coming from and what they might be going through. There were so many insightful things in that short talk, but near the end she shared something that had me completely fascinated. She pulled out a fairly large black box and explained that, some time ago, God had put it on her heart to start writing letters to her (future) husband. She wrote the first one, felt it was a bit cheesy, and nearly threw it away until she felt God nudging her some more. So she kept it, and she kept writing. She's numbered them, and told us last night that as of now there are 99 letters in that box. And they are not all just letters. One of them is a big envelope that contains a letter from her last night on an Australian beach, but there are also rocks from the beach in that envelope. She said that these letters explain who she is better than she can say herself. And so, at times when she's been dating someone, she has wondered, "How can I know if this guy would die for me?" (because she was talking about how Christ died for us, and that -- not any man -- is what gives us worth). But since she has started writing these very precious letters to the man she will someday marry, she has found herself at times thinking, "I don't want this guy reading my letters!" I think they are a kind of litmus test for her in relationships, and I think what she has done, and is doing, is awesome. I told her so last night. But I wish I had thought of it myself!

Let the sun shine in!

Our weekend with family was sweet, but of course too short. Miles was actually very upset when his cousins were leaving and wanted to climb into their van! It's so tough when they don't fully understand, no matter how much you tell them. His first question when he awoke from his nap that day was, "Where's my cousins?" There was a bit of Wii bowling -- in which we all got to witness Miles get his first strike! -- and some Mario Kart. That one belongs to them, and unfortunately Miles liked it too much and keeps asking to play it. Again...tough to explain. We also took them to our favorite pizza place, 3 Guys Pizza (the Greek pizza is the best), and showed them around the campus. But one of the main reasons they visited was because Ed, my brother-in-law, will soon be building our new sunroom, so he and Casey practically lived at Home Depot all weekend. We hadn't planned on adding a sunroom for a while, but with lumber prices being at their lowest right now we thought we'd take advantage. I have always wanted a sunroom but thought I'd be waiting until my kids were grown to have one. Now it will be a place of relaxation, a playroom, and a guest room all in one!

All that's left is figuring out colors, furniture, decor...

Potty, scissors, cousins and hope

It's been a very busy beginning to the year already, and this week has been no exception. After several months of on-and-off potty trials (Miles just hasn't been ready yet...still not sure if he is!), I decided last weekend that I would just jump in when the weekdays began. So far we've had about a 50/50 success, which I'm going to look at as success all around because, honestly, this is the toughest parenting thing I've done so far. I have to throw in the 'so far' part, because my mom was quick to remind me that she thought the same thing until driving a car came into the equation! Still...first kid, first time at all of this, so it is difficult. I'm sure every parent has their share of stories. Thankfully all of this comes with lots of laughs, otherwise I might have thrown in the towel (or Underoos, in this case) by now.

Miles had his first go at using scissors this morning at the library. We don't have any safety scissors at home, but I now know that both he and I would greatly benefit from buying some because the kid loves to cut paper up into tiny pieces. I didn't measure the exact amount of time he spent at it, but in preschool-age time...it was a good while. I kept thinking he would get frustrated, because they were just a bit larger for his hands. But no, he kept right on going, and every little snip of paper that fell to the table was cause for celebration in his book. It was my moment to practice patience, and his moment to practice using scissors, of course. I was actually determined to buy a pair of them for him on the way home, but our long walk to the car (popular library + smallish parking lot = long walk) in which Miles insisted on carrying his three large books and then insisted on me carrying him changed my mind completely. The scissors can wait a few days.

Another thing that made me realize I could wait just a bit longer on super-fun scissors is the fact that my sister and brother-in-law plus Miles' three cousins are coming for a weekend visit. I was not fortunate to grow up near any of my first cousins (I don't know why I said 'first' since I didn't grow up around any of my cousins), so I really love the fact that they are a short drive away. And Miles adores his cousins. He spent most of our Thanksgiving either wrestling with Kaleb or running through my parents' house behind Taylor and Kamie. Lots of noise? Yes. Lots of love? Double-yes.

At this moment in time, I am still not pregnant. It's something I mourn when I need to, but not always because I want to focus on good things. I don't know if I'll ever get to have another baby -- only time will tell if we'll be blessed in that again. But we have Miles, who grows more precious to me each passing day (yes, potty-training mishaps and all). I may not ever understand 'why me, why this, why now' and so I hold on to the hope I have in Jesus. Hope does not disappoint.