Monday, March 19, 2007

Ready or not...

Tonight I had such a precious moment with my little Miles. I had put him down for bed, but a few minutes later I thought I heard him crying as if he'd hurt himself. I went in to check on him, and it was just his usual complainings about having been put to bed (something he's realized is just not fun). I picked him up and held him close, rocking back and forth. For the next five minutes or so, he had his head on my chest and talked very quietly to himself, looking up every now and then. When I felt like he was calm enough, I put him back down, he snuggled up next to Winnie-the-Pooh, and I heard no more. I left with my heart aching, in a good way, and storing up that little moment among others that I will keep for the rest of my life.

It's almost here...Miles will soon be one year young (old just doesn't seem right). How do most mothers deal with this? I know how Casey is dealing with it -- he likes seeing Miles get bigger and change day by day. Not me! Okay, for the most part, I am proud to see him advancing and learning and all of that. But it is so hard to know that he is growing and won't be my little baby boy forever. Or, as is indicated in the following photo, my little 'Cheerio Chin' boy.



Miles has lately become more and more cuddly with me. He gives me daily hugs and kisses, but I get about the same amount as his two Winnie-the-Poohs, but I still feel important. Miles also loves Junebug, our resident kitty, and she is unbelievably patient with him, enduring big pats on her back and the occasional ear-tugging. And when Miles is crying...Junebug comes near, somehow sensing that there is pain and that she can help. And she does!


Last week my parents came to visit, but mostly to help out while Casey was away on a spring break mission trip to West Virginia with a few of our students. One day we headed down with some friends to the lake where there is also a man-made beach (so much fun). This was Miles' first experience with sand, so I wasn't sure how he would take to it. He loved it! Below you can see him enjoying his digging, even with sand on his face, in his mouth, and sometimes in his eyes. (That's our friend Meagan in the background.)



Miles still isn't walking, but he crawls faster than I've ever seen a baby crawl. He goes turbo-speed! He's still very good about sitting still and playing on his own now and then, and he will sometimes strike the perfect pose for my ever-present camera. Miles can now stand for seconds (sometimes up to ten!) at a time, even clapping while he is keeping his balance. He loves to clap those hands.



I know my blogs tend mostly to be about Miles, and I truly want to branch out and write about soooo many other things. Right now I am still dealing with a wound that has been open since last June (totally serious...I wouldn't joke about this), lots of irritating fatigue, and currently a perforated eardrum due to infection. Just hoping to get across how much I would like to be blogging on a more continual basis but struggle to do so. I hope that any readers left out there will stay faithful, because I will be back in full force someday, God willing!

12 comments:

mitch said...

Love the pictures of Miles and your stories about them. Don't ever feel like you have to blog, just blog when you want. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

Jayme Stallmann said...

Tracey, I love checking in every once in a while to see how y'all are doing. I can't get over how fast he has grown & how cute he is!

Anonymous said...

Don't ever apologize for when you blog or what you blog about....especially when it such a special gift as a child. Sounds like you've had a difficult, yet rewarding year - congratulations and welcome to the wonderful club of mothers who ache and rejoice at watching their sons grow.

Syndi Dominguez said...

Hi! I'm still here! He is so adorable. I love those cuddly moments with mine too. It helps me know that is really what's important and not that the dishes need to be done or whatever. Then while you are peacefully walking out of the room, hoping that they go right to sleep, you trip over a big noisy toy! I love hearing about Miles too. I hope you are feeling better every day. We are thinking of you all and praying for you! Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

Tracey,

I haven't kept in touch much, but you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am really happy for you and your new family. Your son is adorable! I hope that you recover soon, but I know it will take time. Please keep in touch.

Deana

Shellie said...

He is so tall and he looks so much like a little boy in the sand picture. I know you probably don't want to hear that though. I'm sure am proud of Junebug. I wouldn't have seen her doing that three years ago!

Syndi always thought I was the clutz of the family. I would laugh at her the way that she laughed at me every time I tripped up the stairs at home. I'm not mean. She would be laughing too!

tracey said...

Thanks Mitch! I hope you are all doing well over there in...(I know I'm going to spell it wrong)...Olomoucz. Was I close? =)

Jayme -- I had to get Casey to remind me that you are one of his cousins. I think we've only met once, so I think it's pretty neat that you check my blog, thanks!

Thanks also to the anonymous commenter...glad to know I am not alone in the 'aching.' =)

Syndi, you mean I'm not the only one who trips over the noisy toy after the baby is asleep? =) I know you and I would be laughing at that one together. I miss you so much!!

Deana, I was just thinking of you the other day -- happy belated birthday! Thanks for checking in and for the prayers.

Hey Shell-Bell! I agree, Miles looks quite the little boy digging in the sand. He sits like that all the time, it's too funny. I love and miss you lots (Samantha too)!

Sarah said...

You can blog about Miles any time you want! It's your blog and all your readers love reading about him anyway! :) Not to mention the adorable pics!!!

pshaw said...

It does feel like "The Miles Blog". But that's okay. We all like to see Miles as much as we can.

Like here, with Issac. :)

Joy said...

It is so good to get an update with pictures! He is such a doll. My sisters go through the same emotions of not wanting them to grow up so quickly. :) Michelle's little Layne will turn 1 year just a few days after Miles (April 15). I love you & think of you often!

Sally-Anne said...

Hey, I thought you said he didn't like Cheerios! Good to see he's come around. :)

staci said...

tracey!! he's sooo precious! he's even gotten so much bigger than the pictures i saw of christmas time! so cute, so cute :) love you and miss you! stace

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